As couples or partners, you may be wondering whether it is important to let your wife or husband know how much you earn every month. I have been there and know how it feels.
All be it, I pulled the trigger and made it known to my wife. But what could have informed my decision to let her know the exact salary or income I earn every month?
Well, it all depends on how you think and know about money as well as your personal experiences with people regarding money. For me, it was an easy decision because of my orientation and experience with money.
In this post, I will answer the question and provide reasons for my opinion and why I think that is the best decision.
Before we continue, I think you must tell your husband or wife how much you earn every month. This is due to the following:
1. Money accounts for the majority of divorces
2. Trust
3. Helps for budgeting purposes
4. Helps you share financial responsibilities
5. To avoid money arguments
I will discuss all of these in detail in the next sessions.
Why is Communication about Money Important in Successful Marriage Life?
I think any form of communication is important in a relationship or marriage. So, financial communication is critical to you and your partner. And don’t play with that, it nearly wrecks one of my friendships.
The following are some reasons why I think financial communication is necessary and critical in a relationship:
1. It can help you know the debt status of each partner.
This is important because you can work together to defray each other’s debts, if any. With that, you can live without the inconvenience of owing people money. That contributes a lot to the health of your relationship.
2. It helps you make financial goals
Communicating about money can help you work as a team to create financial goals to everyone’s satisfaction. Remember, as couples or partners, you set financial goals together whether you like it or not. Developing goals together helps you track and create your future together.
3. It helps when combining finances
At some point in your relationship, you may have to combine bank accounts and other financial resources. Honest communication about each couple’s finances and earnings becomes critical.
Because of the above, I always encourage couples to communicate extensively and honestly about their finances. That is critical in creating a happy relationship.
Should You Tell Your Husband or Wife How Much Your Earn?
Here, let’s look at why I am of the view that you should let your wife or husband know how much you earn. Below are some of my reasons for saying that:
1. Money accounts for the majority of divorces
I have always held the view that money is the backbone of every successful marriage. This view is consistent with what researchers have proven.
For example, a study by Dew, Britt, and Huston (2012) among 4574 married couples found that financial disagreements predicted the likelihood of couples divorcing more than other marital problems.
Another study by Ramsey Solutions in 2017 revealed that arguments over money are the number one cause of fights among couples, and money fights are the second-leading cause of divorce.
Those are some research findings regarding money and divorce among married couples. Even though the issue might be more complex than that, you must know that hiding how much you earn from your husband or wife could cause a money fight.
So, you must be aware of that. Try to have a money talk with your partner and make everything clear to him or her.
2. Trust
Trust is an important thing in the success of every relationship. And I believe that if you are married, you probably trust your partner so much to the extent of deciding to spend your entire life with him or her.
To an extent of sharing everything with them means that you should consider letting them know how much you earn every month.
Due to that, my wife knows how much I earn, and I know hers. She even plans our expenses based on our combined earnings.
In fact, trust has been a hallmark of our money management and planning.
3. Helps for budgeting purposes
Budgeting is a key financial planning and management strategy for the success of every marriage relationship. My wife and I always budget for every month.
To do that, we have always declared our income for the month. Based on that, we decide what we can and cannot do with our income.
Without knowing each other’s earnings, it will be difficult to plan your lives together financially. Because of that, I recommend you let your partner know your earnings. That will help reduce the stress of trying to estimate your earnings for purposes of budgeting.
4. Helps you share financial responsibilities
In some cultures and religions, the husband takes care of his wife financially. It is the sole responsibility of the husband for the financial needs of the wife.
Despite that, most wives still share that responsibility with their husbands. This is especially the case when they are working.
For the purposes of sharing responsibilities, it is always important to know the exact earnings of each partner so that the process will be fair according to the income of each.
Don’t think that should be left to those couples who plan extensively. As a responsible couple, you should always ensure that there is fairness in the sharing of responsibilities.
My wife and I do that. The highest earner most often bears the highest responsibility.
5. To avoid money arguments
As mentioned earlier, money has been the leading cause of arguments among couples in marriage. There is a lot of research that supports that. One of them is the research I have shared in point one.
The Ramsey Solutions’ 2017 study revealed that money is the one issue spouses fight or argue over in their relationships.
So, disclosing your income or earnings with your partner clears one of the hurdles for you in trying to build a strong and great relationship together.
That will help you a lot to avoid arguments with your wife or husband. Don’t underestimate how that decision can help you in promoting a healthy relationship.
Find out the components of financial planning for families here.
Should You Tell Your Partner How Much You Earn If You Are Not Married Yet?
Well, there is no one best way to answer this question. But I think it all depends on your relationship with the person, trust, commitment, and other factors.
If you trust and have a long-term commitment with the person, it might be reasonable to share that information with them. Remember, you are not sharing passwords with them.
Also, some people have negative experiences with ex’s they shared their financial situations and information. If one of them, always try to avoid sharing your earnings with your partners if you are not married yet. If they insist, you can give an estimate without details.
Check out how to make financial planning a family affair from this post.
Final Thoughts
Just like in the above example, I maintain that you should let your partner know how much you earn when you are married. However, when you are not married yet, always make the decision based on your commitment, trust, and previous experiences. Financial communication is always necessary if you want to have peaceful and happy relationships with your partners.