Should a parent ever ask their child for money?

Should a parent ever ask their child for money?

Every parent-child relationship is unique, including their financial dynamics. It can be a thorny issue when parents find themselves in situations where they need to ask their child for monetary help.

This post will delve into the reasons when it may or may not be appropriate for a parent to request financial aid from their children. Ready to explore this delicate subject? Let’s dive in!

Key Takeaways

  • It may be acceptable for a parent to ask their child for money in situations like emergencies, repayment for past financial support, medical expenses, temporary unemployment, housing or rent payments, and supporting a parent in old age.
  • However, it is inappropriate for a parent to ask for money if they exhibit manipulative behavior, repeatedly rely on their child without trying to become independent, have financial irresponsibility or addiction issues, burden the child with excessive financial responsibilities, or exploit the child’s success or stability.
  • Open communication and setting boundaries are essential in maintaining a healthy parent – child relationship when discussing financial expectations.
  • It is important to consider alternatives to monetary support and provide guidance on financial planning.

When is it Acceptable for a Parent to Ask for Money from Their Child?

It is acceptable for a parent to ask for money from their child in situations such as emergencies or unexpected financial hardships, repayment for financial support given to the child, assistance with medical expenses, temporary financial assistance due to unemployment, helping with housing or rent payments, and supporting a parent in old age.

Emergencies or unexpected financial hardships

Money can help in a crisis. If an emergency comes up, like a car fix or health issue, your parent may ask for help. Parents usually have savings for such things but sometimes the cost is more than expected.

It’s okay if they turn to you during these times. Giving money then can be seen as helping out your family when it matters most. It’s not about taking advantage of you but dealing with an urgent need that was hard to plan for.

Repayment for financial support given to the child

If you have provided financial support to your child in the past, it may be acceptable to ask them for repayment under certain circumstances. For example, if you helped pay for their education or assisted with major expenses like buying a car, it is reasonable to expect some reimbursement.

This can help teach your child about responsibility and the value of money. However, it’s important to have open communication and set clear expectations regarding repayment terms.

Remember that while asking for repayment is understandable in these situations, it should not become a burden on your child or strain your relationship with them.

Assistance with medical expenses

If you are a parent and you need help with medical expenses, it may be acceptable for you to ask your child for money. Sometimes unexpected health issues can cause financial strain, and if your child is in a position to help, they may be willing to assist you.

It’s important to have open communication about the situation and discuss any expectations or limitations. Remember that asking for assistance should not become a burden on your child or affect their own financial stability.

Seeking other alternatives such as insurance coverage or government assistance programs should also be considered.

Temporary financial assistance due to unemployment

If you’re a parent who’s going through temporary unemployment, it can be difficult to ask your child for money. However, in certain circumstances, it may be acceptable to seek their assistance.

For example, if you’re facing unexpected financial hardships and need help with essential expenses, such as groceries or bills, reaching out to your child for temporary financial support might be warranted.

It’s important to have open communication about the situation and express your gratitude for any assistance they provide. Remember that this should only be a short-term solution until you are able to regain stability and independence.

Helping with housing or rent payments

If you are in a situation where you need help with your housing or rent payments, it may be acceptable to ask your child for financial assistance. This could happen if you are facing unexpected financial hardships or struggling to make ends meet due to unemployment.

However, it’s important to have open communication about the expectations and boundaries when providing this kind of support. It’s also crucial to consider other alternatives, such as seeking professional help or exploring non-monetary support options.

Remember, striking a balance between supporting family and maintaining personal financial stability is key.

Supporting a parent in old age

Supporting a parent in old age can be a natural part of the parent-child relationship. As your parent gets older, they may face financial challenges due to retirement or medical expenses.

In some cases, it may be appropriate for you to offer financial assistance to help them through this stage of life. It is important to have open communication about their needs and expectations, as well as setting boundaries that work for both of you.

You can also explore alternatives to monetary support, such as offering emotional support or helping them with financial planning. Remember, supporting a parent in old age should be based on mutual agreement and understanding, while taking into account your own financial stability and responsibilities.

When is it Inappropriate for a Parent to Ask for Money from Their Child?

A parent should not ask for money from their child in cases of manipulative or controlling behavior, repeated requests without efforts to become financially independent, financial irresponsibility or addiction issues, unfairly burdening the child with financial responsibilities, and exploiting the child’s success or financial stability.

Manipulative or controlling behavior

Some parents may use manipulative or controlling behavior when asking their child for money. This can be harmful to the parent-child relationship and unfair to the child. It’s important to recognize signs of manipulation, such as guilt-tripping or emotional blackmail, and set boundaries.

Parents should respect their child’s financial independence and avoid using tactics that exploit their generosity. Healthy communication and mutual agreements are essential in maintaining a balanced relationship between supporting family and personal financial stability.

Seeking professional help can also be beneficial in addressing any underlying issues related to manipulation or control within the parent-child dynamic.

Repeated requests without efforts to become financially independent

If your parent repeatedly asks you for money without making any effort to become financially independent, it may not be appropriate. It’s important for parents to take responsibility for their own financial well-being and not rely solely on their children for support.

While emergencies or temporary hardships can be understandable, ongoing dependence without any attempts to improve the situation can create an unhealthy dynamic. Encouraging open communication about financial expectations and boundaries is crucial in maintaining a healthy parent-child relationship.

Financial irresponsibility or addiction issues

If a parent has a history of financial irresponsibility or addiction issues, it is not appropriate for them to ask their child for money. It can be harmful to enable such behavior and may only worsen the situation.

Instead, it is important to encourage the parent to seek professional help and support in managing their finances or addressing their addiction. By setting boundaries and refusing to provide financial assistance in these circumstances, you are prioritizing your own well-being and preventing further harm from occurring.

Unfairly burdening the child with financial responsibilities

One important consideration when it comes to parents asking for money from their child is whether they are unfairly burdening the child with financial responsibilities. It is not fair for a parent to rely solely on their child for financial support, especially if it hinders the child’s own financial stability and growth.

The parent-child relationship should be based on love, support, and mutual respect, not a one-sided reliance on the child’s income or resources. It is crucial for parents to strike a balance between providing guidance and assistance while allowing their child to develop their own independence and financial responsibility.

Exploiting the child’s success or financial stability

It is not appropriate for a parent to exploit their child’s success or financial stability by asking for money. It is important for parents to support and encourage their child’s achievements, rather than taking advantage of them.

Exploiting a child’s success can create resentment and strain the parent-child relationship.

According to the article, it is crucial to set boundaries in parent-child financial relationships. Parents should prioritize the well-being and independence of their children, rather than relying on them financially.

Open Communication and Boundaries

Open communication and setting boundaries are essential in maintaining a healthy relationship when it comes to discussing financial expectations between parents and children.

Importance of discussing financial expectations

Discussing financial expectations with your child is crucial for maintaining a healthy parent-child relationship. It helps establish clear boundaries and avoids misunderstandings in the future.

By openly communicating about money, you can ensure that both parties have a mutual understanding of what is expected and how to navigate any potential financial challenges together.

Setting financial expectations early on also promotes responsible financial behavior in your child. It instills values such as budgeting, saving, and being mindful of expenses. This can create a solid foundation for their future financial decisions and independence.

Furthermore, discussing financial expectations allows you to address any concerns or fears regarding money openly. You can discuss issues like parental support during emergencies or unexpected hardships, so everyone understands when it’s appropriate to ask for assistance.

By having these conversations beforehand, you can avoid unnecessary stress or conflicts down the line.

Setting boundaries and establishing mutual agreements

To ensure a healthy parent-child relationship when it comes to money, it’s important to set boundaries and establish mutual agreements. Here are some tips:

  1. Talk openly: Have an honest conversation about financial expectations. Discuss how each party feels about lending or borrowing money within the family.
  2. Define limits: Determine the maximum amount of money that can be borrowed or lent without causing strain on either party’s finances.
  3. Communicate regularly: Regularly check in with each other about financial matters. This helps prevent misunderstandings and allows for adjustments if needed.
  4. Consider repayment terms: If a loan is given, discuss when and how the money will be repaid. Clarify any interest rates or repayment plans upfront.
  5. Seek professional help if needed: If financial issues are causing tension in the parent-child relationship, consider seeking assistance from a financial advisor or counselor who specializes in family dynamics.
  6. Encourage independence: Encourage your child to become financially independent and self-sufficient over time. Offer guidance on budgeting, saving, and managing their own finances.
  7. Respect personal boundaries: Understand that everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to sharing or asking for money. Respect each other’s boundaries and avoid pressuring or guilt-tripping one another.
  8. Be mindful of emotions: Money can be a sensitive topic, so approach discussions with empathy and understanding. Acknowledge any emotional reactions and try to find common ground.

Striking a balance between supporting family and personal financial stability

It is important to find a balance between supporting your family and maintaining your own financial stability. While it can be natural to want to help your parents in times of need, it’s essential to consider the impact on your own financial well-being.

Open communication with your parents about expectations and boundaries can help navigate this delicate balance. Providing non-monetary support, offering guidance on financial planning, or encouraging them to seek professional help are alternatives to direct financial assistance that can still show love and support for your parents while protecting your own financial future.

Remember, taking care of yourself is also important for being able to support others effectively.

Alternatives to Financial Assistance

Instead of solely relying on financial assistance, there are other ways parents and children can support each other. Discover these alternative approaches to maintain a healthy balance in your parent-child relationship.

Offering non-monetary support

There are times when a parent may need financial help from their child, but there are also other ways to provide support without giving money. Here are some alternatives to consider:

  1. Emotional Support: Be there for your parent and provide a listening ear during difficult times.
  2. Time and Assistance: Offer to help with household chores, errands, or other tasks that your parent may struggle with.
  3. Professional Advice: If you have knowledge in a certain field, offer guidance or assistance in areas like budgeting, job searching, or legal matters.
  4. Networking: Introduce your parent to people in your network who may be able to offer guidance or opportunities.
  5. Research and Information: Help your parent gather information about resources, support groups, or government programs that could benefit them.
  6. Skills Exchange: If you have skills or talents that can be helpful to your parent (e.g., cooking, gardening), offer to share them in exchange for their support.
  7. Physical Presence: Spend quality time with your parent and provide companionship when they need it the most.
  8. Encouragement and Motivation: Be a source of encouragement and motivate your parent to overcome challenges they may be facing.
  9. Wellness Support: Offer assistance with healthcare appointments, medication reminders, or simply being there during medical procedures.

Providing guidance on financial planning

Teaching your child about money management is important for their future. Here are some ways you can offer guidance:

  1. Start early: Teach your child about saving and spending wisely from a young age.
  2. Set goals: Help your child set financial goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  3. Budgeting basics: Teach your child how to create a budget and track their expenses.
  4. Saving habits: Encourage your child to save money regularly, even if it’s just a small amount each month.
  5. Wise spending: Teach them the importance of making thoughtful decisions when spending money.
  6. Credit card awareness: Educate your child about credit cards, interest rates, and responsible credit card use.
  7. Investing knowledge: Introduce the concept of investing and explain different investment options.
  8. Financial independence: Encourage your child to become financially independent by finding ways to earn their own money.
  9. Seek professional advice: If needed, consider seeking help from a financial advisor who can provide expert guidance.

Encouraging the parent to seek professional help

If you notice that your parent is constantly asking you for money or struggling with financial issues, it might be helpful to encourage them to seek professional help. A financial advisor or counselor can provide guidance and support in managing their finances and finding solutions to their problems.

They can assist your parent in creating a budget, developing healthy spending habits, and exploring options for additional income. Professional help can also address any underlying emotional or psychological issues that may be contributing to their financial difficulties.

Encouraging your parent to seek professional assistance shows that you care about their well-being and want to support them in finding long-term solutions to their financial challenges.


1. Is it okay for a parent to ask their child for money?

Sometimes, it could be okay due to certain events like an estate issue or asset division. But each family should set financial boundaries.

2. When can a parent ask his child for money?

A parent might need help with legal representation costs or during unstable times needing adoption as a solution.

3. What are the issues if a parent asks his child for cash too often?

This may lead to parental financial dependence and rob children of adulthood, causing troubles in the parent-child relationship.

4. How does asking money from children affect them?

It can change family dynamics and pose ethical considerations in parents’ relationships with their kids.

5. Are there rules about when parents cannot ask their child for money?

In cases of divorce settlement, custody terms, and unfit parenting findings by the family court, rules on finances exist.

6. Can I stop my mom or dad from asking me for money all the time?

Yes! Every kid has rights and setting up strong boundaries in financial support between you and your folks protects these rights.


In conclusion, whether it is right for a parent to ask their child for money depends on the circumstances. There are situations where it may be acceptable, such as emergencies or helping with medical expenses.

However, there are also situations where it is inappropriate, like manipulative behavior or exploiting the child’s financial stability. Open communication and setting boundaries are important in navigating these discussions.

It’s crucial to find alternatives to financial assistance and provide guidance on financial planning. Overall, each situation should be evaluated carefully based on individual family dynamics and ethical considerations in parent-child relationships.


I have a Business Studies degree and have specialized in financial accounting. I also have an MBA. Furthermore, I am currently a Ph.D. candidate at Ankara Yildirim Beyazit University in the field of management and organization. I have an interest in management, entrepreneurship, organization, and finance.

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